there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
