her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
