i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
