Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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