it wasn't lemon gatorade
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
