The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
