pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Your mouth is God's brothel.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
nutella sex= disaster
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Even my vagina gasped.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
