Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
