No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
