i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
it's like iHOP with fire
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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