I love black thongs
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
