dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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