My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
