we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
