I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
