i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
