so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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