if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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