he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
