Moan for me like Helen Keller
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
is it fun? or sober?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
