the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I don't think brook has ever known best
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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