You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Of course I have a pirate flag
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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