I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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