I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Randomize
