Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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