Its about making memories worth repressing
and she was petting her beer can
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
