do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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