honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
