Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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