its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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