Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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