He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
