Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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