TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
