and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
