I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
