Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
