I bet he comes in French.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
