He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
apparently the secret to your success is patron
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
They took my balls.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
