Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
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