Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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