she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
