You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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