community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
