AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
