There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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