Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
