BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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