i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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