I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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