Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
