Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
