god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
