chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
