Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
