He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
