youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
