I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
