The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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