And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
