I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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