So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
