She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
im holly from the hills drunk
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
