She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
