Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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