Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
