Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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